


Secret

by yeska_noka



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Johnny's Jr., Kansai Johnny's Jr.
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-31
Updated: 2010-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24074092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeska_noka/pseuds/yeska_noka
Summary: Kusumoto is hiding something from himself, and Matori tells him what it is.
Relationships: Hayashi Matori/Kusumoto Yukito





	Secret

Kusumoto likes being in Johnnys. He's made a lot of friends and had a lot of fun over the years, but nothing is quite so fun as when they get their own concerts. He uses "they" in a broad sense, referring to the Kansai Juniors as a collective, because Kusumoto has never been in a group that's had their own concerts and isn't sure he ever will be. But it doesn't matter, because "their" concerts are always the best. He gets to sing and dance and perform, lights flashing, explosions sending waves of shrieking through the crowd of fans. But the part he enjoys most is getting to do it with all his friends.

Kusumoto likes that he's free to wander around the stage as he pleases for large portions of the concert. He grabs the littler kids to share his mic with him on the occasions that he gets one, slings his arm around people's shoulders to make peace signs at the audience with them, pokes his friends and darts away laughing when then lunge after him. It's a big, sparkly game that he loves for what it is, even if he knows it may not last. He's content to let all these little interactions flood him with adrenaline, to feel himself come alive to the sounds of their own songs.

But nothing makes him feel quite so alive as when he's with Matori, which is weird, because he's been with Matori since forever and he doesn't remember always feeling like this. There's a hand on the back of his neck and then Matori is dragging him down the walkway at speed, pulling his mic away from his face to laugh delightedly, and Kusumoto's heart races much faster than a sprint toward the main stage necessitates. As they slow, he's distinctly aware of the way Matori's fingers are caught in the curls at his nape, sending a wave of goosebumps shivering down his arms despite the heat.

Kusumoto wonders if this is how the chibiko feel when he messes with them, but he doesn't think so. He also wonders if Matori feels the same way, but he can't figure out exactly how he's supposed to ask that, and so he doesn't.

There are a ton of people in his unit, if they can really be called one, and while Kusumoto is friendly with all of them, he only actually hangs out with about half. Whoever he's with, though, he can feel Matori's eyes on him, and whenever he turns to catch him he gets this little smile in return. It's just a hint of a smile, really, right at the corner of Matori's mouth, and it says that Matori has a secret; it drives Kusumoto crazy with curiosity.

He watches Matori carefully, but he can't at all figure out what that smile means. It seems to be only for him, not a smile that anyone else notices or even gets to see, and Kusumoto feels like he's missing some sort of secret code.

He's sitting next to Matori after practice one day, holed up in a corner so that they don't get trampled as Kusumoto watches Matori change his shoes. But then Matori glances up with that same little smile and Kusumoto snaps.

"What!"

Matori's smile just gets a margin wider before he looks back down at his laces.

"No, seriously," Kusumoto explodes, although it's a contained explosion; he's not sure he really wants anyone beside Matori to notice. "Why do you always _do_ that?!

"Do what?" Matori asks, and shoves his extra shoes into his bag.

"That... that smile! It's like you're making fun of me all the time, but not." Kusumoto isn't really sure how to explain it, but he thinks Matori gets it anyway when Matori suddenly leans in so close that Kusumoto nearly topples over before he catches himself.

" _I know your secret_ ," Matori whispers. Kusumoto can feel the words on his skin and catches his breath, more focused for a moment on the brush of air than the meaning they carry.

"Uh." It takes a moment before he brain registers them as a sentence. "Hey, wait! What?" Matori has it entirely backwards. "You're the one hiding something!" he insists.

Matori shakes his head, that infuriating smile back in the corner of his lips. He nods his head toward the door. "C'mon, let's go."

He doesn't give Kusumoto a chance to respond, and Kusumoto has just enough time to snatch up his bag and dart through the door before it shuts in his face.

"Matori!" he calls, and takes a few running steps to grab the other boy's arm.

"Hmm?"

"..." Kusumoto forgets whatever he was going to say, words dying on his tongue when Matori stares directly at him. "Um," Kusumoto manages, racing to think of something, anything. "Where are we going?"

Matori's smile switches over to one of clear amusement. "Home? Because, you know, practice is over. Unless you want to grab some food first?" he adds.

"I... sure." Kusumoto still feels a little lost, the words _I know your secret_ bouncing around inside his head as he trails after his friend. What secret? He has no idea what Matori is talking about. How can he have a secret if he doesn't even know what it is? They're only about halfway to the okonomiyaki restaurant he's pretty sure Matori's leading him to when Kusumoto gets impatient.

"Hey," he blurts, "what secret?"

"Hmm?"

"You said I have a secret," he explains. "But if I do, then it's very, very secret, since I don't even know it. So," Kusumoto tries to sound nonchalant about basically begging. "Care to share?"

Matori stops walking then, so suddenly that Kusumoto has to backtrack a few steps to stay next to him.

"Do you really want to know?"

The look on Matori's face, complete with that infuriating smile, suddenly makes Kusumoto feel young. Which he is, he reminds himself. There's not much of a height difference between them and they've been grouped together for so long that Kusumoto usually forgets that Matori has a few years on him. He feels that age gap pretty distinctly right now, butterflies taking wing in his stomach when he meets Matori's eye. "Y-yes?" he says, when he finally remembers the question.

Matori looks around for a moment before answering. "You like me," he says, and it's not a question.

"What?!" That was not at all what Kusumoto expected, the butterflies beating a storm inside of him. "I do not!"

"No?" Matori questions, and he looks confident, like he knows what he's talking about.

"N...no," Kusumoto tries again, but it's lacking any real emphasis as his brain races to catch up to the conversation. Like Matori? _Like_ him? Kusumoto says no because that's his initial reaction, and it's what he wants to say, but there's something screaming inside of him that he's a liar. Yes. No. Yes. No. It all swirls around in his head when he thinks about it. He _doesn't_ like Matori, does he? He's never even thought about it before, so how could he?

But then Kusumoto remembers Matori's fingers in his hair, his breath along his cheek, and the butterflies in his stomach flutter in a unanimous chorus.

"Oh." It's all Kusumoto can say for a minute. Oh. So that's what that is. He looks up to find Matori waiting patiently. "Um. How... how did you know?"

As an answer, Matori glances down. He brushes his fingers against Kusumoto's, not taking his hand, but the touch is enough to make Kusumoto gasp. Kusumoto realizes what he's done a second too late.

"You're kind of obvious," Matori says, sounding apologetic. "But it's one of the things I like about you."

Kusumoto considers dying of shame right there, but then Matori's words break through the fog of panic. "One of the things?"

"Well," Matori says, "There are a whole lot of things I like about you." His smile is more open now, a shared secret that Kusumoto understands.

"Oh." Kusumoto blinks. His butterflies shimmer their wings in encouragement, a kind of joyful vibration that seems to settle over his skin. "Well," he says, considering. He looks evenly at Matori, who looks right back. "We all have our secrets. Maybe we can share one."

Matori grins. "Maybe we can."


End file.
